爸爸媽媽來看看 希望做父母的都能反醒一下

最近在 Facebook 看到這篇:(原文是英文,翻譯如下)

父母們,請記住:電子設備很方便,它們的存在是為了讓我們的生活更加輕鬆 —— 但不應該取代我們對家人和所愛之人的關心與愛。

孩子們能看到並感受到周圍發生的一切。他們的成長經歷會影響他們的思想,並留下終生的印記。讓我們好好照顧他們,使他們能夠在愛中成長,擁有正確的價值觀,而不是虛假的需求。


讀完這篇短文,我久久不能平靜。一個孩子的天真願望,像一把鋒利的手術刀,剖開了現代家庭關係中最隱蔽的傷口。在這個智慧型手機普及率超過八成、人均每日使用時間超過五小時的時代,我們是否正在經歷一場集體的「情感失明」?

孩子渴望「變成一部手機」的願望,展現出一種令人心碎的生存策略。當他發現父母對待手機的方式遠比對待自己更溫柔、更專注時,甚至手機比自己更重要,他本能地想要成為那個被愛的個體。這讓我想起心理學家溫尼科特提出的「虛假自我」概念,當真實自我得不到回應時,孩子會發展出一個符合他人期待的假我。在這個故事裡,孩子甚至願意異化自己,變成一個電子產品,只為獲得那本來應該屬於他的…..那怕只有片刻的關注。

文中那位丈夫「目不轉睛看著手機」的形象,恰是當代父母的集體寫照。我們創造了「低頭族」(phubbing) 這個新詞,卻很少思考它對親密關係的腐蝕作用。神經科學研究顯示,當父母分心於手機時,他們對孩子情緒訊息的敏感度會下降 60%。這不是偶發的疏忽,而是一種系統性的情感缺席,孩子哭泣時得不到即時回應,說話時得不到眼神交流,這種持續的情感忽視會在兒童大腦中留下與身體虐待相似的創傷痕跡。

最諷刺的是,我們如此害怕孩子沉迷電子產品,自己卻成了最糟糕的示範!美國兒科學會的研究指出,父母每天只需放下手機30分鐘的全心陪伴,就能顯著提升孩子的安全感。但現實中,我們常像故事裡的父母一樣,能立即接聽電話卻延遲回應孩子的哭泣,能精心擦拭手機卻忽略孩子的情感塵埃。這種「數位優先」的行為模式,正在重構親子關係的本質。

當妻子含淚說出「是我們的兒子」時,這個故事瞬間從他人的悲劇轉化為家庭的自我覺醒,完成了從普遍現象到個人困境的驚人反轉。最遙遠的距離不是生與死,而是孩子站在父母面前,父母卻看著手機。這篇作文不該只是催淚的催化劑,更應成為覺醒的契機。也許我們都需要建立「無手機時間」,重新學習注視真實的眼睛而非發光的屏幕,在數位洪流中為情感保留一塊不可侵犯的綠洲。

親子關係 心靈文章 心靈角落

孩子的願望是一面鏡子,照見我們這個時代最荒謬的一面:科技本該連接人與人,卻成了隔絕真情的透明牆。當一個社會需要孩子以自我異化為代價來換取關注時,我們或許都該問問自己:在手指滑動的瞬間,我們究竟失去了什麼?


原POST在這裡看到,也貼在下面:

PARENTS, PAY ATTENTION!!!

A teacher was grading her students’ homework.
Meanwhile, her husband was walking around the house, glued to his smartphone, immersed in his favorite game.

When she got to the last assignment, the teacher quietly began to cry.

Her husband noticed and asked:
— What happened?

She replied:
— Yesterday, I gave my students a writing assignment: “MY WISH.”

The husband said:
— Okay, but why are you crying?

Holding back tears, the wife answered:
— While correcting the last paper, I couldn’t help but cry.

Curious, the husband asked:
— What was written that was so emotional?

The wife began to read:
My wish is to become a smartphone.
My parents love their smartphone very much.
They take care of their smartphone so well that sometimes they forget to take care of me.
When my dad comes home tired from work, he has time for his smartphone, but not for me.
When my parents are doing something important and the phone rings, they answer it immediately—
but they don’t do the same with me, even when I’m crying.
They play with their phones, but not with me.
When they’re talking to someone on the phone, they don’t listen to me, even when I’m saying something important.
So my wish is to become a smartphone.

After hearing those words, the husband was deeply moved and asked:
— Who wrote that essay?

The wife, with teary eyes, replied:
— OUR SON.

PARENTS, remember this:
Electronic devices are helpful, but they are meant to make our lives easier—
not to replace love for our family and the people we care about.
Children see and feel everything happening around them.
Their experiences shape their minds and leave marks that last a lifetime.
Let’s care for them, so they grow up with the right values and without false needs.